Thanks to reader Maz for this Q -Jonathan
Tamara Naples, Florida
Jealousy in my opinion should not even be in the english vocabulary. In a relationship situation I have been told that I was/am a jealous person, but if you think about it and the actual word...I am not jealous of another woman etc.
I am very confident and happy with who I am.
It boils down to respect on both sides because this can work for a man too. When a woman flirts with your boyfriend/husband or vice versa gf/wife, then it's up to the partner to put that person in their place. In other words, if she comes on to my husband I feel it's up to him to tell her that he is in a relationship and guide the conversation to a more non-flirtatious direction.
No one would get jealous if more people respected their spouses and partners and we went back to a simpler way of life!
Here is a perfect example. When I first met my husband, we went to a store in the mall. The very cute sales girl was totally flirting with my boyfriend (at the time). I was in the back trying on a shirt. I wanted his opinion and he was way up front with the sales girl, laughing. So I called his cell. No answer. Finally I walked up there and she very catty was asking, is this your boyfriend?
I said no, he is my fiance', and still she continued to flirt with my man. I kept my cool, but I feel like it should have been my man to put her in her place. Instead I had to.
Anyway, long story short. Don't give a person a reason to be jealous and it will not occur!
Now, that super cool yacht I saw at the city dock the other nite...different story!!
Trudy Cardiff, Wales
I'm pretty lucky where I don't really suffer from jealousy. If I'm with a partner then as well as having our life together, we also have our own interests with our own friends.
I never suffer jealous urges unless I've been given a VERY good reason, and then I have to be pushed ALOT, thankfully cos I've seen jealousy ruin people's lifes!!
Linette United Kingdom
Jealousy ?
NEVER! And, it's nothing to do with trust in yourself or in your partner, it's about stability in yourself and believing in yourself, and its about having the strength to realise that if someone's gonna cheat they don't want to be where they are anyway.
Tamara Orlando, Florida
I've been married 16 years. At the beginning there was a lot of jealousy, and yes it affected
the relationship.
But, with time we noticed that it was insecurity.
Trisha Los Angeles, California
Jealousy is a dangerous thing but it also, in its own twisted way, can make someone realize just how much they like someone (unless they're one of those types who is jealous all the damn time no matter who is involved).
I've had problems with certain guys in my past and their jealousy issues, which is no good considering that I do have a LOT of male friends and my main circle of friends includes those who work in either music or film/TV. Lots of opportunity for a jealous guy to make mountains out of molehills.
Once in a while I catch myself feeling it too; it's just part of being human. I have to keep myself in check though. I have been involved with a few musicians and a girl has to be VERY secure to handle the reality that they will always have fans flirting with them. I just have to put my trust in someone until they fuck up, pretty much (and hopefully they don't because I am a damn good girlfriend, haha)...anyway yeah jealousy is a tough one that we all have to battle but when we can keep it under control everyone can be that much happier.
And sometimes there is absolutely nothing to be jealous about in the first place, it's just all in our heads!
Bri Aberdeen, Washington
It used to, until I realized my mom actually knew what she was talking about when she said "jealousy is a wasted emotion."
It's unproductive, unflattering, and there are no benefits to be gained by acting like an insecure person with trust issues. In the end it doesn't prevent anything that's going to happen from happening anyway.
Amen Bri. Your mom gave you great advice. -Jonathan
Joanne Phoenix Arizona
Interesting question, I guess the answer all depends on how you mean the question. If you're talking jealousy in relationships, then that's more of an issue of insecurity and/or control. But if you meant jealousy, as in envious, then that can has a positive influence, give you the goal to achieve for yourself whatever it is the other person has or has achieved that you envy, as long
as you don't let it turn into resentment.
However, jealousy in relationships are really just a waste of energy and a useless sacrifice of self-esteem. In that case, you need to step backand grow as an individual before you are truly ready to be in any relationship.
Lore Hollywood/Phoenix
Jealousy stems from a person not doing what they are supposed to be doing. Take steps for what is in the heart and you will not feel jealousy toward others doing what you wish you were.
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