On this August day I dig deep and explore
my most inner thoughts.
Am I a happy person?
NO, not really. I know, because I am on the radio, you probably
think...what's he got to bitch about?
Let's just say, programming and hosting my radio shows are an
escape from reality for me.
You also think I live a glamorous life. Hobnobbing with cel-
ebrities. Going out to clubs. Living the high life. Not so.
I might have in the past, but these days I am one totally boring
person. Yes, I do my radio shows, which is the ultimate excitement
in my life. Other than that I take the wife out occasionally for dinner,
and we take day trips during the week also, while most are working
their 9-5 jobs.
Look, I am semi-retired. Worked many many years for the 'man', and
also self employed. Straddled both worlds.
My wife hates ( I know that's a strong word) that we have to live in
Phoenix, Arizona. There isn't a week in the past 3-years she doesn't
bring it up.
She has been sick on and off, mostly for the better part
of these 3-years.
So, you can understand why she feels the way she does. She
is very vocal about how she never got that sick in Los Angeles.
She wants us to move back so bad.
So do I, but then reality sets in. We can not afford to live there.
The housing is still way out of control. We would suffer when
it comes to anything financial.
I also would not have what I have here on the radio. Los Angeles
programmers have very little balls when it comes to something
different.
So, even though radio is not the complete reason why we are in the
desert, at this stage of my life, I would miss doing what I do on the
radio.
Again though, that is not what stops us from moving back to where
all of our friends are, and the best years of our lives. It is just
simply money!
Here we have virtually no real friends, and our family is so messed
up, that we are are retracting from most of them and their problems.
My wife takes in all their problems that creates stress. I believe that
is the chief reason why she is sick most of the time. She is 5'8" and
is down to 102 pounds.
Not good.
So lately we have at least achieved that. Stay away from them.
Unfortunately that leaves just the two of us almost 24-7. That comes
with some problems, but we are dealing with it.
Will someone offer me a radio gig that I am just able to be me,
like I am right now? It could be in the U.K. or any other country
for all I care.
The wife and I would move in a heartbeat!
3 comments:
My heart goes out to you and your family. If I can share one thing that has changed my life-and quickly, my thought patterns, prosperity, relationships with others, is Louise Hay!!! She has either audio cd's (whicjh i listen to in the car) or a movie, "Heal your Life"...LIFESAVING!!! I smell the roses now, and all my dreams are gradually coming true. THE LAW OF ATTRACTION stuff...I hope you and your wife are open to her. I just felt i had to share cause i love you dearly, and want so much for you and your family to be happy and healthy!!!
I'm sorry to hear how troublesome your life is right now. I hate living in Phoenix as well, for what sounds like problems that are similar to what your wife is going through.
Is there no way you could use a studio in CA to record your show and email, upload, or send a copy (or even stream directly) to KUPD to air? I don't have much technical knowledge of radio, but I'm pretty sure they do something like this with nationwide shows, such as Loveline. It doesn't seem to me that in this day and age of technology something like that should be difficult to pull off...
I know I don't want to lose my Lopsided World of L. It's pretty much the only radio show I still listen to as everyone else just seems to be interested in playing the same stuff I'm already sick of hearing all the time. Your show introduces me to new (to me) music that doesn't all sound like slightly modified carbon copies of each other and that is something I vitally need in my jaded life right now. For that, I'd think someone could cut you a little bit of a break. It's no fun being mostly sick for three years straight or having to put someone you love through that for financial reasons. I wish you both the best and hope that you find a solution.
Hi Jonathan
I like what Dana said about the Law of Attraction! We have the DVD called "The Secret" and it shares lots of good information about that topic and it really makes a lot of since. Its hard however, to practice it all the time especially when you are surrounded by negative energy from your loved ones. I lived in Charleston SC for 11 yrs and hated everyday of it but I had to stay. I had no savings to move on and I had a secure good paying job that supported me and my daughter, we were all alone. Finally after years of depression and longing to move to Georgia to be with my family, I lost everything I had due to my mental and physical health. So I left the hospital that spring morning, ready to start a new beginning that came from such a tragic end I moved to Georgia with my family and never once looked back, a blessing on the heels of disaster! My life has been the best ever since! I would have never left there if I hadn't fell apart, so sad I was to afraid to make the change into the unknown while terrified to leave the lonely depressed life I had! I should have told my boss to shove it %^$#@&7, sooner if I only knew that their was a blessing sitting and waiting for me! I believe now I will follow my heart and not be afraid of change! Especially if the fear of change is not as scary as the life I am afraid of leaving that is filled with darkness, loneliness and so much pain! No job, no home and no place is worth sacrificing one's happiness, so change may do you good when you look at it in this way!
Hang in there sweetie, you and Janette can get through this together no matter what you decide! I am sending you some good positive vibes your way and pray for comfort and peace during these difficult days.
I am here for you always if you need to talk!
Much love
Your friend
Marie
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